And the Emmy Goes to....

Me.

Yup, me.

Seriously, though, I’m just going to pick on actors and actresses for a moment, and the whole entertainment industry as a whole.

You see, I have not watched television in I can’t even remember when. Here we are, with this big, beautiful plasma tv on the living room wall going to waste (thank you, Stefan for putting it up while I was at work to surprise me, even though it’s at least a 2-person job. You truly deserve an Emmy.). We have been so frickin’ busy to even watch our tivo-recorded shows. In fact, in a rare moment of downtime last night, I tried to watch an episode of House that was recorded back on June 27. The idea that we are two months’ behind on all our favorite shows is daunting. I only got about 10 minutes into the House episode before I got bored.

Bored watching television. This is a new concept, indeed. I can’t remember when the last time life was so exciting, that watching television actually bored me! I realize I might sound like I’m gloating, but I don’t mean to be. I am just surprised.

Just like I would be surprised if a big televised event occurred where I won an award for “best written user’s manual.” I mean, isn’t my job important, too? Oh, that’s right. Nobody would be interested in that. It would be, well...boring. True, I’m not entertaining the masses, but if it weren’t for people like me, people like us wouldn’t know how to run the blender or interpret the blinking signal in the airplane cockpit. Does two fast blinks mean engine failure, or is that three fast blinks? I don’t remember. Lemee see the manual....

But don’t you feel just a little bit gyyped that you don’t get awards for doing your work? Wouldn’t you love to get all dolled-up and go out to a fancy, all-expenses paid extravanganza and be pampered from head to toe because of your amazing networking skills? Or your ability to feed the dog, make dinner, and change a baby’s diaper all at the same time? Or for showing up to work on time everyday, despite the fact that everything in your personal life is taking a nose-dive down a clogged toilet? It amazes me sometimes that we even function at all. We’re expected to plow forward, personal life be-damned, and put on a pleasant face and attitude for our co-workers. If not, we’ll get canned.

And then there’s the entertainment industry, where people are waited on hand and foot, and someone makes sure there are no green M&M’s in the bowl, which must be a specific sized bowl and color, and 12 dozen peach-scented roses waiting in the green-room for your 5-minute walk-on. Only in the entertainment idustry can you get to work late, trashed, strung-out, drunk, hysterical, and treat those around you like a fungus-infected foot bath, and then you get....gasp! An AWARD.

I know, I know. I’m making blanket statements. I’m sure it takes a lot of hard work to become recognized, and not everyone is as I just described. And I’m really not as cynical as I sound. I just think award ceremonies are getting a bit ridiculous.