Actions and Consequences

Due to the massive public outcry against the upcoming televised interview with OJ Simpson and the impending release of his book, “If I Did It, Here’s How it Happened,” News Corp has cancelled both the Fox interview and the book.

Congratulations and thank you to all of you who made your voice heard. This is a huge victory!

I want to make a point clear, however. At no time did I wish to ban the book or the interview. I fully support the economical, capitalist society we live in and the rights we have under the 1st amendment. News Corp has every right to air the interview and publish the book. What I want to get across is that just as they have the right to freedom of speech, so do we. Just because an “offensive” book gets published, or anything else that hits a nerve, for that matter, doesn’t mean we have to endorse it. We can exercise our freedom of speech as well. And in this case, we did. There was enough of an outcry that we made it clear this project would not be popular or profitable, and therefore, it was tabled. Actions and consequences do exist outside of the courtroom. Sorry, OJ.

I’m going to pick on Judith Reagan for a moment. In an online article I read this morning (which I can’t find now, thanks Yahoo!, for so quickly dumping the stories before I had a chance to bookmark them), Judith Reagan claims that she pressed for the book and the interview because as a former victim of domestic violence, she felt if she could persuade Mr. Simpson to confess, she would get closure on a chapter in her personal life.

How naive.

Perhaps Ms. Reagan did suffer domestic abuse. I recall having similar feelings towards a previous abuser. That was before I realized my role in the situation. Had I had healthy self-esteem and a good sense of personal boundaries, I never would have ended up dating an abusive man. It took me about 8 years to own up to the fact that I was half of the problem. I didn’t egg the person on, but I also did not give clear action/consequence statements about his behavior towards me. I stuck around, thereby teaching him that no matter what he did to me, he didn’t suffer very severe consequences. I allowed him to damage me, until one day I decided I was done. For 8 years after that, I went around with a seething rage inside, wishing I could somehow confront my abuser and hear how apologetic he was about his treatment of me. I even wrote an unpublished book to tell my side of the story. Kind of a personal revenge, I suppose. It did a lot to soothe the rage, and I’m happy to say that my ill feelings towards this person are gone. But not just because I wrote the book. Rather, the rage evaporated when I took a hard look at myself and admitted my role in that unhealthy relationship. Ms. Reagan has yet to get to this point.

Those who abuse others will rarely, if ever, own up to what they did. Even when confronted with overwhelming evidence of their behavior. Why? Because that would mean owning up to the fact that a monster lives within themselves. It took me 8 years to face how my inaction did nothing but train this person that his abuse was okay, not according to the world’s standards, but my own personal standards. How much longer would it take for someone to admit they took advantage of another person’s weaknesses? That they exploited them? It ain’t gonna’ happen.

Every action has a consequence. We all suffer (or thrive), in some way, the consequences of our own actions. It is never completely one person’s fault (Disclaimer: this does not apply to children. Just adults. Acts against children...well that’s an entirely different topic).The sooner we figure this out, the quicker we will become healthy adults.